Can We Keep Up? This is the Final Stretch!

Last Stretch

So here we are! The March break, spring time change, holiday and egg hunt, all of it is behind us now. Which also means we are in the last stretch of this beautiful 2017-2018 school year.

Ok, I can hear some parents say: beautiful school year!!!  Well well, where does Marie get that… Beautiful year…

It seems that some years are easier than others or that some years are much harder than others. For students, this last stretch may prove to be great pleasure, an opportunity to shop for graduation dresses and suits, or the moment to look for an apartment to study away from home. For other students, it is simply a sign of success and having been able to make the right decisions and accomplishments to achieve this success.

As parents, we want the best for our children. In my practice I often meet parents who want more than their children. Parents who do not wish for their children to go through the same difficulties they had when they were young. It is untrue that children succeed by learning the exact same way.

Every week I meet students who are really happy this school year is coming to an end. They open up and tell me:

  • Marie, I am leaving this school, I will be able to start over elsewhere without bearing this label of a student different than the others.
  • Finally, this student or this other is leaving the school, the bullying I have been submitted to will end with his departure.
  • Cheer, I have my primary school, high school, and college diplomas, and even my university degree, my parents will be proud of me. Secretly, in our parents hearts, we are proud of ourselves when our children succeed.
  • Summer is coming up, I will be able to relax. Yeah! No more homework and studying. No more lunches.

But before getting to this last day of school, a few challenges remain. Here are just a few.

How do I help my child with different needs, who is starting to lack interest and concentration at a time when warm weather approaches? Let’s start with one day at a time.

For some children, having a long-term view can create anxiety. Does the idea of using a calendar with large boxes and writing down every day he is not attending school, could show him that there is little time left? Making it simple will make it easier for the child to see.

As parents, we have different powers, but in no way can we stop the sun from rising and more so to ask it to set in order for our children to go to bed early and be fit the next morning.

We will focus on good management of life moments. Playing outside, studying and doing homework at the park or simply outside, eating lighter meals, being more active, both children and parents. It is of the utmost importance to continue building on small successes rather than the great disappointments and difficulties.

How do I help my child who learned and understood that he will repeat his school year and who thinks he does not have to put in effort at the end of the year since he will do everything over the following year? As a parent… why insist and fight every evening with my child, when everything will be repeated the following year anyway?

If the school already informed you that your child needs to repeat his grade, it would be important to arrange a meeting with the school personnel to establish the best strategy to use with your child to finish this school year. (Sustain the progress achieved, stimulate your child’s interest for school, smile every morning when leaving for school and at the end of the day when returning.) Explain to your child that in principle, everything should be easier next year because of his knowledge. Commend the efforts, value small successes, ask the teacher to make positive notes instead of noting the drop in grades.

How do I support and prepare my child for the end of the year final exams.

This is often puzzling… I can hear my little guy say … Mom, when you were young… Of course when I was young… Many things changed… you do not subtract the same way, or add from the other side, and I am not even mentioning algebra and what goes with it.

If it is the same for you, a real puzzle to get ready for exams, there is probably someone you know who is knowledgeable and can help your children.

Most of all, a few small things to remember

As long as your children’s self-esteem is preserved, tell yourself that your children will realize their full potential and great achievements. As long as you will see stars in their eyes you will say mission accomplished. As long as your children will be able to rely on you and your strengths, the attachment bond will be preserved.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, author, wrote : « Loving is not looking at one other, it’s looking together in the same direction. »

Believe that tomorrow will be easier and that together you will make it.

 

Have a nice end of the year.

Marie-Michèle Lemaire

Specialized Educator – La Clinique Multidisciplinaire TDAH

To read more, please visit : FDMT

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